C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
