First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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