he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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