Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I bet he comes in French.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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