you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
