When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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