Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
