seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I have fence marks all over my body
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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