At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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