I seem to have left my pride at pride
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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