next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
