what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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