Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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