I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
