it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Randomize
