i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
4 words: hood of his car
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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