never play flip cup with pint glasses
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
