69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
