I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
