We're facebook friends in real life
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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