just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
