I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
We got so high we made milksteak
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
