hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i can't believe i had my finger in that
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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