drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize