We're facebook friends in real life
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
