i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
