TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
