Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
