nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
