he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
