I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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