I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
