This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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