The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
