Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
