Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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