Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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