his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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