you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
