I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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