I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
