I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
