the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
