I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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