Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
