what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
