i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
3pm strippers are depressing
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize