She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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