I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
It's never too late to be topless.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize
