Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
operation harelip BJ is a go
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
