Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
