Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
