Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
