so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
