Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
