As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
COCAINE IS GR8
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
