where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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